Attentive members of the public may have noticed the catastrophic polling Labour pulled off in the 2019 General Election. Figures that have not been so low in nearly eighty years were beaten in what can be described as the worst attempt at beating a world record. Labour are strewn all over the place, in part due to Brexit, and in part due to the departure of the media’s favourite piñata Jeremy Corbyn. Now faced with five long years of tightening-the-belt-strap austerity, Britain and the neighbouring countries we force into unity with us now face a troublesome half decade in what can only be described as ‘messy’.
But fear not, for with every bleak situation, there is always an out. Leaving the country is always an option, with The Independent’s handy guide on how to do so available to any Briton with the bold and wise prerogative to do so. For those that are sticking it out through what will be one of the most expectedly harsh and disgusting times for politics, there is only one thing that can bring this country back together. Hatred. Bittersweet disgust for your fellow countrymen is the one thing that will get us through the further years paved by public spending cuts, a return to a junior partnership with the United States and an elected representative of the people who once suggested the Queen loved the Commonwealth so much because it “provided her with crowds of flag-waving piccaninnies”.
Prime Minister Pfeffel Johnson certainly has his work cut out for him, or he would have if the media had held him to any scrutiny that could suggest they aren’t already in his pocket and at his disposal whenever he sees fit. The lack of discussion of how Johnson’s language affects the public opinion is in part a greater detriment to the platforms that should have dissected his previous remarks. Sure, we heard these quotes thrown out here or there on cheery morning chat shows like This Morning, but their impact on communities, individuals and opponents to his blatantly outdated mindset is nowhere close to the spotlight.
Take his stance on issues of sexual education and the LGBTQ movements from over the past decade. “Labour’s appalling agenda, encouraging the teaching of homosexuality in schools, and all the rest of it.” Appalling, isn’t it, to educate the youth of tomorrow on the issues of today.
“If gay marriage was OK – and I was uncertain on the issue – then I saw no reason in principle why a union should not be consecrated between three men, as well as two men, or indeed three men and a dog.”
His decadent, stagnating stance on liberal issues that would provide further rights to women, ethnic minorities, members of various LGBTQ movements and disabled groups can be best summarised by what he believes the Conservatives should be aiming for. “If you can’t turn the clock back to 1904, what’s the point in being a Conservative?”. Very much the party of living in the good old days, this archaic vision of a Victorian-esque Britain would probably provide a thrill to the top hat wielding Jacob Rees-Mogg, a man that is essentially what happens when you pair the financial assets of Charles Foster Kane with the fashion sense of the child snatcher from Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang.
On his voting record, we’ve got him praising George Bush’s “liberation of Iraq”, alongside the reasoning of support he gave David Cameron’s callous attempt at morphing into a coalition with the Liberal Democrats as “pure, cynical self-interest”. It’s as if many Members of Parliament find themselves in a difficult position of pretending to care for what their constituents have to say and finding the time to make enough influential friends to one day position themselves in a place of power.
Hatred is what will bring us together. Hatred for what Johnson deems himself to stand for, not just for his derogatory comments toward anyone that isn’t a part of his sycophantic Bullingdon clubhouse, but for who he has proven himself to be. Tear down this great wall of bumbling lunacy and what remains is a deep rooted, idiocratic mindset that has been part of the Conservative image for generations. A shame Johnson isn’t a man of his word, because if he were, he’d be “dead in a ditch” after failing to bring us that Brexit deadline on time way back in October 2019.
There are some quotes from Johnson that are just blatant lies, I’d beat myself senseless if I left out any of the proven deceitfulness of his various campaigns. From the now sadly infamous “Take back control of huge sums of money, £350million a week, and spend it on our priorities such as the NHS.” to the thoroughly buried “Would anyone in their right mind want to join the EU today?” and “Leaving the EU would be a win-win for all. The EU costs us a huge amount of money and subverts our democracy”. His anti-European stance provides that poorly explained expression of being against “career politicians.” I hate to point out the obvious, but Johnson is a career politician, it’s how he became the Prime Minister.
One quote in particular that stands out is “The U.K. is big enough and strong enough to stand on its own.” For a country “big” and “strong”, we seem to have a record number of food banks opening to help those struggling on such a thriving country. The homeless that sleep rough on the streets across the country don’t see the benefits of a “strong” United Kingdom, nor does a consistently spiralling NHS, which hasn’t received sufficient funding since the days of Tony Blair. A “big” country that has consistently been the lap dog of the United States in any war, from Gulf to Suez Canal, Iraq to World War 2 and now at the mercy and bidding of whatever hoops they make us jump through.
Politicians in general need to be held to accountability for what they say, when they say it and why they do so. If other elective candidates were under the spotlight as much as the Labour party were throughout the past two general elections, the tides most certainly would’ve turned. But that’s what happens when the largest selling print-based media’s in the country are influenced by, who’d have thought it, the very party Boris Johnson leads. It’s like the circle of life, but everyone loses.
Don’t ever doubt the power of words. In Johnson’s own admission, he helped George Bush’s re-election campaign during his time as a journalist by “…throwing the entire weight of The Spectator behind him.” His careless remarks and what people have falsely identified as witty yet moronic anecdotes are coated in a venom that has left its mark on the opinion of the British people. Not many people have managed to tear down this fluffy jargon he presents himself as, but if you look closely enough, you’ll see he is, as Russell Brand once said of Nigel Farage, a “pound shop Enoch Powell.”